Kiss
Puke
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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