just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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