I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize