I'm jealous of your bromance
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
