Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
