I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
