I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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