I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
