we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
