she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
