Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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