On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
