Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
