What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
