i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
