I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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