wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Vodka?
Forever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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