Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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