tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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