you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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