12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
