batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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