We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
