just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
