got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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