So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
