you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
