I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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