Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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