Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
