i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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