I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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