Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
