To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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