What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize