Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
