My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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