yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
