absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
