i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
