youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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