ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
