You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
