she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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