So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
