Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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