Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
