May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
