I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
