I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
