Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
