If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
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