I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
