Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
