Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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