high people should be assigned attendants
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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