oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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