Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
