What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
